What's up Doc?

Carrot soup from SELF Magazine:

carrots

onions

garlic

cumin

ginger

milk

yogurt

organge zest

***

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.


-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Translated by Stephen Mitchell

*edited: I am not spiralling downward in depression with this as my cry for help, as some might have thought *ahem* Stephanie. On the contrary, I am just a habitual worrier and fussy person about things large (global warming!) and small (I'm running out of tooth paste!), personal (i'm going to die alone!) and trivial (liz lemon is going to die alone!).  I saw this and felt instantly peaceful about all of my non productive stewing.  Sometimes not knowing all the answers is okay too, even if you're a control freak like me.

Très Jeunes

I renewed my passport this weekend.  Can you even believe it has been ten years? 

In related news I would very much like for the weather to be nice enough to do cartwheels outside on the grass. 

3D

It is so distracting you almost don't notice when your sister is stealing all the chocolate (you know, the Valentine's day candy you brought in your purse like the person taking the ticket wouldn't notice the GIANT red heart-shaped box you're toting around). 




In related news: Gnomeo and Juliet got four enthusiastic thumbs up (two people, no mutations here).  All the songs in the movie were Elton John's and we were rocking out to them all weekend.

PS the ring transfer was as hilarious as I imagined it to be. She loved it and we now have 5% of the costuming we need to watch the upcoming royal wedding.

Glamoratti

Remember when my college roommate and BFF got married this summer and I endlessly gushed about how pretty it was and how its utter perfection has ruined me from enjoying any other planned event for the rest of my life?  I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to indulge in my dramatic over-the-top description.

Except wait.  It wasn't just me that thought that....

The Mothership

GLAMOUR MAGAZINE FEATURED THIS WEDDING!!!!!

Click HERE to see where I was in Glamour. That's right.  Maid of Honor.  In the Hizzouse.  Super Exciting.

The Crown Jewels

I could not wait for my sister's birthday in June.  Thus this replica of Kate Middleton's engagement ring that I got from ebay will have to be her Valentine's day gift. 

I cannot stop laughing. 



Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ it's a surprise!

My future's so bright, I've got to wear a neon vest

Safety First

Rosley got these from work, and let me tell you the hard core spandexy athletes running past us were impressed. 

The Greatest Appetizer Recipe of all Time

Dried apricot + fresh sage leaf + bacon + maple syrup = OH MY GOD.

The less raw picture looks like this  I took this Friday to Jaclyn's and it was a big hit.  Especially with me.

Top 10

The top ten things PHS seniors would rather have done than listen to me speak about 'careers in marketing' this morning.

1. Gouge their eyes out with forks

2. Stick bamboo shoots up their fingernails.

3. Listen to Ben Stein read an oven manual.

4. Be trapped in a room with Kenny G playing very loudly on repeat.

5. Be stuck in a Chilean mine for two months. (what? too soon?)

6. Get a root canal.

7. Be stuck in Lady Gaga's egg/pod in 90 degree heat.

8. Eat 10,000 peanut butter sandwiches without anything to drink.

9. Watch a marathon of Nicholas Cage movies.

10.  Be on the receiving end of a crocogator death roll.


Seriously, this presentation was given to dead silence.  Crickets. The only sound was my enthusiasm (and self confidence in speaking and relating to the younger generation) crashing to the ground.

Oh that Real Simple

I love the magazine. I love the recipe app.

• Portabella Mushroom Ravioli
• Yellow Squash
• Gala Apples
• Walnuts
• EVOO
• Parm

My biggest fear

Dude. I am deathly afraid of crocodiles/alligators.  Both. Equally terrifying.  This started when I was ten and read an article in Reader's Digest about how some woman survived a death roll.  You know, where they pull you down in the water so you drown and then spin you so limbs/chunks come off that they can take delicious bites of you. It was graphic. Obviously.  I totally don't remember how she escaped, the specifics of which I might have clung to to avoid mental scarring.  Nope.

I can never live in the south because of this.  A shame because I think my straight hair could handle the humidity. I can never move to that nature preserve or join the peace corps.  Both of which otherwise would totally happen.  I can especially never EVER EVER EVER swim in a pond or lake south of Canada.  

Do you know what I heard today on NPR? That the mouth of a crocogator (i can't remember which scary one was specified) closes with the force of over 2200 LBS .... which is the equivalent of a guillotine.  

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. scary chomps. scary teeth.

In related news I'm not a fan of these guys either.  

It could have been amazing.

I have a confession.  During one of the epic disastrous never ending snowstorms we received, I applied to be on Oprah.  Actually I went to the show's website looking to watch the episode from the day before, but instead was distracted by a column that said 'Be on Oprah'.  It might as well have said, click here to have all your hopes and dreams come true.  Pretty much none of the categories related to me (Are you over 50 and fabulous? Does your daughter love Willow Smith?) except for one.  One glorious category headlined with 'Are you a soap opera fan?'

Oprah is my favorite.  Remember when I spent my birthday in Chicago a couple of years ago?  Yes this was us trolling around the outside of Harpo Studios. 

Where we were creepy and taking pictures by doors and vents to the building.

And remember when the women in my family went to the 'O' Magazine live your best life conference last year?

Where we were creepy and taking photos of Nate Berkus from an uncomfortably (for him) close distance

Meanwhile watching cheesy soaps is practically in my DNA.  At the very least its something I associate with hilariousness and the women in my family.  My mother and her six sisters were avid All My Children fans since before I was born.  Christmases included AMC playing cards and autographed photos of Susan Lucci. 

Aunts Sheila, Sara, and Theresa, graduates of Pine Valley U.



Mom with Tad the Cad in NYC after I can only assume she was creeping outside of  their studios



And let's not forget about the younger generation.  My sister and I (thanks in no small part to Soapnet in college), are soap viewers and will bond over gossiping about our not-real-life friends.  I mean how crazy Annie is and how lying about paternity tests NEVER works out well and why does everyone in Llandview go to the gym EVERY day now.  We get it.  Your shirt is off.  These conversations go on forever.  Remember our recent Dynasty weekend?  Yeah,  we're now watching all of the episodes on hulu too.   

The idea that these two favorites things of mine (O and Soaps) could combine was heavenly.  A bi-fecta.  A duex-fecta.  Whatever two awesome things together would be... this would be that.  Plus I could SURPRISE my mom with this (skyping in with mom and sis, skyping in with ALL the women in my family, BEING on the show?).

But alas... for it was not meant to be.  TODAY they are airing the soap episode, which means that when I submitted my blurb on our family and our love of soaps last week they were probably already recording it.  I realize that those who watch Oprah (daytime television) likely watch soaps too (also daytime television) and everyone who has ever visited the Oprah website could probably make a good argument about how Luke and Laura changed their lives.  Basically, we had a snowballs chance and were too late.  All is not lost though, I'm still way excited to just watch the episode today, and pretending I'll be skyping in instead.

It could have been amazing though, right?

Bridesmaid of the year

Emily's getting married in July and has told all of us 'maids to wear something peacock in our hair.

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0azCfc1fzF9qX/610x.jpg

Nailed it.

Lewis and Clark have nothing on us.

Ever since one of my college girlfriends moved to Kentucky after grad school, we have been making pilgrimages down there a couple of times a year.  Usually we are good about leaving early, checking the weather, planning accordingly, etc.  Except this time it was a comedy of errors getting out of work, getting out of town, getting on the right exits.. you name it.  Exploring/navigational geniuses we are not.  Friday night we didn't arrive until 2:30 AM and drove through, rain, snow, sleet, and Nickie snoring in the back seat.

However, minus the total of 22 Hours in the car this weekend, it was probably my favorite trip down there to date.

Saturday was kicked off with a visit to the Maker's Mark distillery. 

Be honest.  I look like I've got side burns in this picture.  Do you see it? 

The nation's first drive-thru liquor store.  Worth a commemorative photo.

Emily dipped her own Maker's Mark bottle in wax.  BTW that stuff is disgusting.  It tastes like all that awful kind of alcohol I was forced to try on my 21st birthday, and the mint julep I couldn't handle at the Derby.    Amy and Kelly were swishing it in their mouths and talking about its 'oakiness'.  The other three of us were making faces like we were forced to taste test nail polish remover.  Sophisticated we are not.

The mini road trip there was through the back country and it was littered with colorful artwork.  Sucks to be that guy.

(sidebar I don't know how to turn these and I can't link this account with my GMail Picasa account. Technology savvy fail.)

SOOO.......  Part of the reason for the trip is that three of the five of us girls had birthdays within a few weeks.  Their combined ages are 83.  So Emily and I decided to surprise everyone with a birthday party. 

There were posters with hilarious and incriminating photos.

Pin the tail on some-guy-we-went-to-college with.

Birthday Bingo with hilarious antics that either usually happen anyway or could totally happen with some incentive. 

Various dance moves were on the list.  In related news I do a mean Carlton.

There was a limbo stick that doubled as a whip, jousting stick, bat, sword, scepter, cane, too-short-skirt-pointer-outer (that almost got us killed), ceiling fan turner-on-er, creepy guy shoo-er-away-er, rifle, whatever the name of that long tube you shoot darts from is, oar, cigar, magic wand and yes so much more.

Emily and I thought our party games were such a success, we were introducing ourselves as Milton and Bradley.

But soon that relationship soured.

Nickie won bingo... she would just like everyone to know.

Kelly lost.

I wish every weekend was this wonderful.

Road Trip

We will be prepared for anything.  Watch out Kentucky!

The Snownami

Missouri has declared a state of emergency for this insane blizzard.  I can't see out my window.  I've already watched 10 hours of soaps, eaten all the chocolate in my apartment, curled my hair, tried on all my fancy dresses and spent much 'working from home time' browsing for new swimsuits with a glass of wine. 

I think I can cross 'become a hermit' off my bucket list, this is for the birds.